Stop Martyring Yourself
Most moms can’t help but be selfless. It’s in the DNA of motherhood to cater to the needs of her family first. A mom’s love is sourced from what seems like an intrinsic deep well that never runs out. But this love must be expressed inwardly too so that we don’t deplete our reserves. Mothers need to know how to care for oneself and feel no guilt in doing so.
I remember flipping the toggle switch when my 4-month maternity leave was coming to a close. I showed up for my hair appointment, got my hair colored to cover my grays, and I even did highlights. It was a luxury to sit there and have 3 hours devoted to myself – a far cry from what has become a recent norm of not even having time to slip in a 15-minute shower. I silenced the voice that spewed I was selfish.Mothers need to know how to care for oneself and feel no guilt in doing so. Click To Tweet
There’s yet another transition layer that I need to undergo – going back to work after baby. When it gets overwhelming, I succumb to my inherent nature, and that is, to direct care and attention from myself to those around me. But mothers need to be vigilant in keeping their tanks filled. We are better off for it. And our family notices the difference too.
Here are some suggestions of how moms can combat being drained out.
1. Get a Good Book
A strong, sound mindset is where it all begins. Whatever a woman believes, she behaves. So consume material that is positive and uplifting, and promotes personal growth.
2. Stop Checking Emails
The world is going to keep spinning in its axis even if you don’t review and reply to emails. Block off a 4-hour period where you don’t look at your inbox on impulse. Focus your attention on something worth doing and be present in the moment.
3. Volunteer in your Community
It’s almost contradicting to be replenished when you give of yourself more. It just is a timeless, tested principle that when you give water to others who are thirsty, you are refreshed yourself. It enlarges our world to see others around us who are in need because it inevitably magnifies how very blessed we are that we can be a blessing to others too.
4. Reward Reminder
Some people cope with stress through retail therapy. I am not talking about careless card transactions that add to your burden later. Instead, this could be a reward system for good behavior and good choices you’ve made that allowed you to hit a goal. Like a prized trophy, it can sit on your desk or hang on the wall that catches your eye to reinforce your accomplishment streak and increase belief in yourself that you can do anything you set out to do.
Build a consistent daily routine of writing down on half a page of a notebook all the things you’re thankful for from the previous day. There will be days when you have to contemplate harder, and days when it comes to you quite easily. Wake up in a position of gratitude that influences the tone of your entire day.
6. Savor your Coffee
Did you know that there’s an aroma study conducted that recorded evidence of the mere smell of coffee having positive effects on reducing stress from sleep deprivation? There are many documented scientific benefits of coffee that may actually surprise you. Sit down and sip slowly.
7. Grab Lunch with a Close Mom Friend
Finding community or company among those who have walked or are currently walking in your shoes will not only keep your sanity in check but also reassure you that you’re doing a good job. Certain conversations flow so naturally when the other party can relate and offer supportive insights.
So let me ask you… What would you commit to doing today to take care of yourself? Does self-care come naturally for you or does it take a lot out of you?